This isn’t a scam–it works! Trying to knock off a few pounds before Labor Day? Want to feel better about your body? I was once in your shoes! But I followed these 26 SUPER EASY steps, and now I’m down 26 pounds!
This plan isn’t for everyone, but if you have the willpower, you can succeed. Let’s get started!
- Move to a country in West Africa. That’s probably the easiest step.
- Learn that the main source of protein in your new country is sardines!
- Say to yourself, “I don’t really love sardines, but I’m sure they won’t be so bad!
- Laugh at how wrong you were.
- Move to a community where everyone gets your attention by saying “Hey, fat guy!” This includes people who are about to ask you for money.
- Move to a different community!
- Ask why everyone is calling you a word you don’t understand.
- Learn that the word they are calling you means “fat guy.”
- Go for a run. Stop on the way to buy beignets for your family. Save one for yourself! You just ran!
- Hand out the beignets to your family.
- Wait for your mother to ask you, “Aren’t you going to give a beignet to [a stranger in your compound whom you’ve never seen before]?”
- Say, “Of course! It would be rude not to.”
- Give the beignet you bought for yourself to a stranger.
- Walk everywhere, even though moto rides are quick and relatively cheap.
- Run into a neighbor. Let them say, “You walk everywhere! You are always walking, fat guy!” Allow them to laugh at you for a while.
- Learn the French/local language word for losing weight. Also learn the phrase, “You’ll see. You’ll all see.”
- Try a new food! Rabbit, cow skin, and fish bones are a good place to start.
- Sprint full-speed to the latrine! Great place to sneak in some cardio before your body makes a game-time decision on how to reject the new food.
- Sweat as much as humanly possible. Some easy ways to do this: be outside, be inside, be awake, be asleep
- Enter a dance competition at a local independence festival. Win first or second place, depending on whom you ask.
- Notice that your pants are starting to feel a little loose! Pat yourself on the back.
- Stop patting yourself on the back when your pants are now around your ankles in the middle of an important conversation. (These things do happen to other people, right!?)
- Have a button pop off your shirt before an important meeting.
- Have your pants rip before an important meeting.
- Dream of bacon cheeseburgers and pad thai while eating a bowl of plain rice.
- Remember that no number on a scale will ever solve your problems, and the most important thing in life is that you’re happy and healthy. Enjoy your time with the people you love, and do something that makes the world a better place 🇹🇬❤️
Hello Daniel! Just started following your blog. Love your sense of humor and especially how happy you are.
BTW, I am Mira’s mom. Hope I get the chance to visit her (AND you!) in the next 2 years. But no.sardines, please.
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I will try to keep the sardines away!!! Congrats to you for raising a truly amazing daughter (AND SON!!)
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Thanks Daniel fir sharing your incredible journey!
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Thanks for reading!!!!!! 🙂
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This is great Daniel!!!! Love your humor and wisdom!
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Hi Daniel! This is Stacy Lewin, Scott’s wife, from Atlanta. I hope you are healthy and happy today and every day. Have a wonderful adventure. The Lewins are cheering for you!!
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Thanks Aunt Stacy!!! Send my love to Uncle Scotty, Sarah, and Alex!!!
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Hi Daniel! It’s your old neighbor, the Hoys (Mayra here). Your mom told me your were blogging about your journey in west Africa and I immediately requested to follow. I am very happy for you and hope you have the most memorable time there. We’ll be tuning in. Until next time! Blessings!
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Thank you so much!!!!! Great to hear from you!!
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