How My Life Has Changed, Or A Semi-Clever List of Jokes that Will Hopefully Increase My Dwindling Readership

Thank you for clicking on this blog post and agreeing to read all of my past and future blog posts as well! Your support means a lot to me.

Life is a little different in Togo than it was in the States. (that’s what I call America now!) Here are some examples:

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USA: I can’t believe I just spent $23 at Whole Foods for dinner! What a rip-off!

Togo: I just got charged $0.30 for three pounds of okra. What a rip-off!

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USA: This restaurant only has 3 stars. 

Togo: This restaurant only has 3 lizards.


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USA: My Uber driver is a creep!

Togo: The chickens on my bush taxi are trying to kill me!

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USA: The water pressure in this shower is just horrendous!

Togo: Actually, we don’t have this problem here. You have complete control of the water pressure in your showers, depending on how fast or slow you pour the water out of the bucket.

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USA: There’s an accident on the highway and now there’s so much traffic!

Togo: A goat just sat down in the middle of the street! Looks like we’ll be here for a while. Also, this road is dirt!

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USA: You can tell when someone is going #2 when he carries a newspaper to the bathroom 

Togo: You can tell when someone is going #2 when he sprints full-speed to the nearest latrine 

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USA: My alarm clock woke me up too early!

Togo: The LITERAL ROOSTER woke me up at 4h30. And also at 2h. Oh, and 1h30. (This is a great time to correct a really common misconception! Roosters here have NO RESPECT for time. They caw all night and day. Really the only time they don’t make any noise is right at sunrise. TV has lied to you.)


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USA: I can’t find any smoked sardines on my street or workplace or market or convenience store or backyard!

Togo: We also don’t have this problem! Jealous?

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USA: Popular belief: feeding your child eggs and fish will make her strong!

Togo: Popular belief: feeding your child eggs and fish will make her a thief! (I really don’t understand this at all)

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USA: A parade could shut down some roads for a few hours 

Togo: A herd of cows could shut down some roads for a few hours 


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USA: Your neighbors are too loud in the mornings

Togo: The town crier is too loud in the mornings (THIS IS NOT A JOKE. SHE IS SO LOUD.)

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USA: A violent crime will put you in prison. 

Togo: Doing black magic on someone’s blood will put you in prison.

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USA: It is not acceptable to schedule a meeting with the armed police and then fall asleep during the meeting.

Togo: It is not acceptable to schedule a meeting with the armed police and then fall asleep during the meeting. Unless, of course, it’s raining, in which case you will sleep in the Commander’s office until the storm passes. The Commander will also sleep.

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USA: The host of next weekend’s party tells you to Bring Your Own Beer

Togo: The host of next weekend’s party tells you to Bring Your Own Mosquito Net 

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USA: You are overwhelmed by the number of Oreo flavors at the supermarket 

Togo: You have never felt a better pleasure than sharing a single Oreo with a friend who received a care package 

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USA: It’s annoying when you sit down to dinner and a telemarketer calls 

Togo: It’s annoying when you sit down to dinner and the chicken hiding under your table starts pecking at you 

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USA: The party of the year is the Golden Globes 

Togo: The party of the year is a funeral


This is a picture of my friend Kate at what basically looks like a Coldplay concert.

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USA: Little Miss Sunshine is one of the funniest movies! That van is horrible.

Togo: You would give anything for that Little Miss Sunshine van.

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USA: It’s annoying when your little sibling comes into your room without asking.

Togo: It’s annoying when your grandma walks through your room holding a chicken she’s about to kill

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USA: There is a bone in my fish!

Togo: There is a fish in this pile of bones!

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USA: There is nothing more important than love and family.

Togo: The same applies! Some things are just universal 🇺🇸🇹🇬❤️

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7 thoughts on “How My Life Has Changed, Or A Semi-Clever List of Jokes that Will Hopefully Increase My Dwindling Readership

  1. My dear Daniel

    I so enjoyed reading this and glad to know you seem to be doing well. I am sure you bring such a smile to everyone there that crosses paths with you. If you send me your address i would love to send you some treats. Take care.
    Aunt Maureen

    Like

  2. Daniel — Your blog is great fun to read. Enjoy this incredible adventure. So glad you are helping others and learning about the world and yourself in the process. Britta and I will make sure to share this with Asa, Rafe and Owen. We look forward to future installments. Be well!

    Like

  3. Dan, I am very proud of you for the work you are doing and the growth you are experiencing. Keep making people laugh all over the world. Stay safe.

    Like

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